Art Condoms

Mates of Hot Fuk

Not a big fan of this ad from Mates on their vibrating condom ring. Something about it. Perhaps it's the faux, but understated, 70's pr0n vibe and soundtrack. Whatever the case it seems the ad is too dark and it takes too long to get to the punch line. I suspect most viewers would turn it off either by changing the channel or tuning it out before the product gets its spotlight or the cheeky finish finish comes into play. Unless the pay off comes quickly I suspect you don't want your ad to come across as a diamond ad if you are selling vibrators.

Now if Mates is really serious about selling their vibrating condom rings, (BTW Condomania sells a similar product.) I have a suggestion. Check out Mr. Vegas with his song "Hot Fuk" or Tony Matterhorn with his song "Dutty Wine." Not only do these girls do some SERIOUS vibrating but these songs obviously have a huge following. As of this morning at least a million fans have checked out the videos to Mr. Vegas' and Mr. Matterhorn's songs (BTW#2 What the hell is it with silencing the "Fuk"?) and ladies seem to relish in dancing their own versions of the "Hot Fuk" or "Dutty Wine" dance. And just let me say I for one appreciate their efforts. If Mates wants to sell their vibrating condom rings they probably couldn't do better than get behind Mr. Vegas and his growing collection of "Hot Fuk" girls. Such an ad would no doubt cause an uproar everywhere it was shown and sell a hell of a lot of vibrating condom rings. After the video from Mr. Vegas & Mr. Matterhorn I've pasted up some of the more compelling homespun versions for your enjoyment.

Now here's a couple of home movies to show the kind of following these guys have when it comes to this type of "vibe bratin"!

Put It On

A while ago a few of us were sitting around discussing the fate of Lady Levi, of Jimmy in the Valley fame. Unfortunately we can't find her but just over the transom we find that Ras Mo has a new joint. Check it out.

Taboo Clock'n Bunnies

We've just discovered "In Bed with Carrie Keagan." Here's a clip showing Taboo of the Monkey Business crew showing us how to sell vibrators. Wonder if he'll follow through? Now where can we get one of those 50 cent numbers?!

UPDATE Gene Simmons runs with our crew every once in a while and while we can't show you, the promo for NGTV that he's showing off these days is lots of fun. Think nasty ass language from the primmest celebs ever to grace the wankified public airwaves! It's coming to cable and sat soon. But it's gonna be premium to keep those dirty celebs from destroying your kids ears.

Robert Williams

Kevin sends this along:

Kevin also relays that Mr. Williams does not use computers.

This We Like!

●Art Condoms

パッケージやデザインが愉快なコンドームを集めてるブログあるよ。
Trevor Brown のコンドームとか売ってるあるのな。

Name That Reference

This is a brilliant little short from MTV. Watch closely and you'll see it's like a rebus with all sorts of sex slang terms represented with images. We caught the dirty sanchez, the fine art of tea bagging, and a few other fun ones. Which ones can you name?

Lrigwoc Esrever

Sweet! Miss Breslin gave us some link love. She's a peach, with cream, dripping, no wait that was a brandy ad from years back. She's the author of You're a Bad Man, Aren't You? which, if you haven't read it, is simply a must for those wishing to be well read. And she's a gorgeous amazon who once had our intrepid reporter begging at her feet for a taste of the leather chaps she was wearing...but that's another story for another day. Thanks Susannah!

I Love the Way You Wrap That Burrito

Here's a clever little ad by some school kids about condom usage. Running with scissors? I have never seen that done before. Got shivers just watching it!

My Mom Said I Could

A couple of days ago I discussed a bit about parents, condoms, and marketing. This ad from France is really quite cute and touches on the same themes.

Pick Whatever You Want

Oh, we love the hell out of this commercial from Argentina for Tulipan Condoms. Gender bending, check. Dolls with boas, check. Blondes in pink bikinis in the morning, check. Rangers for breakfast, check. It's got it all!

Shut Your Mouth!

Kelly Styles fills a condom with water. Sssh his parents don't know.

Darren's parents gave his brother condoms for Christmas in the bottom of his stocking and laughed as he and his brother turned red with embarrassment. Suddenly I am very nervous.

He's certainly right though about the marketing of condoms. This is the main reason why guys with smaller cocks are so under served in the condom market. The average guy at the average store just won't buy a condom which says it is for a smaller sized guy. Most guys could have a penis small enough you need a magnifying glass to see it and they still wouldn't walk up to the counter and buy a small size condom. It's a big problem! At some point I'll try to gather up a bunch of attempts to market to smaller guys and let you know how they do. Oh wait, nevermind, noone ever tried to market to smaller size guys, my bad.

Creatures With Cocks

We're still not sure why Creatures With Cocks isn't at the upper reaches of the New York Times Best-Sellers List. Someone, anyone, please help us to understand?!?!?!

I know, I know, our editorial mission is condoms. What can I say, we are human. Sometimes we fail.

Baby Baby, Sugar Baby

These have been around for a while. But this is the first time we've seen the straight version. High production values and very entertaining to be sure. I think I'd prefer the filmmakers dropped the black man = XXL cliche but, whatever. Love how the boys in the straight version have floppy little penises flying over their heads while the boy our protagonist picks has a little flying heart over his head. So sweet.

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A Little Quadrinhos

It looks as though Globo Brasil has picked up on Peter Bagge's condoms. I have taken the liberty of using Google to translate their little piece in case you are wondering (and can't take the time to translate it for yourself):

Not exactly sure what it means but make of it what you will.

Boinged Boinged

Well look at that. We've just barely gotten out of the gate with these condoms and Boing Boing has picked us up on their comic/klatch pop culture radar. Here's to Peter Bagge!

The Ruffian on the Stair

David Waterston finally has a reason to have sex! We're so relieved David. This is good news! But we're confused David: that icon of you with the bikini clad babes (see right) implies you have a kid. I mean you take kid everywhere you go, right? lol Seriously though check out the pics of Megan. She's so cute! Kids are great. We have a whole passle of em around the Art Condoms offices.

We're big fans of Trevor's as well. Rubber Doll is our webmaster's favorite.

Puzzling Muttpop

While Muttpop Bob puzzles out the answer luvyatoo hits it out of the park for the run — ...gotta put on yer mask before climbing in tha 'ring.'

Whoops wrong sport metaphor!

No Ribs, No Juice

These print ads for LifeStyles Ribbed are clever. Production values are high and the visuals are clean. We like!

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That Darn Duck!

This great poster for condoms back in WWII featuring Donald Duck is simply wonderful. The whole prospect of duck on lady action seems a bit strange but we're just glad that Donald wants to wear a condom. Ducks have penises? Right?

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Radical Suzuki

Although I am partial to his underwear designs I must admit to liking Radical Suzuki's condom designs. Nice to see more design work being done with condoms and condom packaging.

Heart Goes Boom

No condom in this one but this boy obviously needs protection! Shedwa is quickly becoming our go-to guy in the business. He brings mad chops.